We all have such colleagues in the refurbished servers business. Sometimes we wish they disappeared into the depth of a cheap server. Still, they have a very special skill of revealing their talents when they are most needed.
Which type do you recognize the most?
The pushy & semi-ambitious Sales Person
They’re not competitive at all, they claim. And yet they still try the “How about a 100% discount?” line. Way too often.
The sound of their keyboard rattling non-stop used to give you anxiety. That is until you realized that sometimes they type their own version of Lorem Ipsum just to out-type your typing speed.
They brag about getting a lot of responses, only forgetting to mention that most of them are “Stop calling me!” and “I don’t need these!”. These days, you just worry, almost daily.
The “punny” one
“What did the heatsink say to the CPU? I’m a huge fan!”
We know, we know. They’ve worked here for years and don’t skip a beat to deliver this same joke. And those shammy IT puns (“It’s not working, not one bit!” – well, precisely).
When you asked them not to sign their emails with “iuppITer”, their only response was “Ouch! It MeGaHertz!”. So you gave up.
You just try not to be there when they use the forklift and go, “we all have ups and downs.” Or when the orders get picked up and they start, “we all have our UPS and downs”. You heard that eyes can actually break from rolling.
The Company Creative
Our internet is really slow, they complain in an email. They use exclusively Comic Sans font sized 21, and they just happen to skip the small fact that they’re using the public WiFi of the business next door.
They really only had one job: to order the birthday cake for the boss. The cake arrived, fair, but with the text “[add photo here]”.
The unbothered Creative then took a PICTURE of their SCREEN, printed it, and plastered it on the cake. I guess you could learn a thing or two, if not about creativity, then at least about confidence.
The sneaky IT engineer
We all probably deserved this, but… the IT engineer, perhaps deciding that all IT jokes by the “punny” one were enough, installed this plug-in*.
Didn’t tell anyone, of course, so during an important meeting with a client, we discovered the word “cloud” switched to “butt” in the browser. We weren’t that thrilled to talk about butt-based solutions.
The IT engineer then proceeded to reset the WiFi in the middle of the same meeting, just because they remembered some bug from a week ago. The only unaffected person was Company Creative, who kept stealing the neighbours’ WiFi.
This is when you realised that maybe there’s some logic to this madness.
The tired one from finance
They’re the ones exclaiming (very loudly) how “the first five days after the weekend are the hardest” when you’re all cramming, half-awake, by the coffee machine on Monday morning.
Their favourite joke is that "their insomnia was so bad that they could not sleep even during office hours.". They seem particularly skilled at throwing work at others so they can focus on their best pastime: worrying. “It works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen!”.
Generally, it’s quite hard to write jokes about these people since they don’t work.
*yes, you SHOULD ask us where to get this.
